Been putting this off, but the time has come for me to stop running around and start blogging. It has been quite awhile since I last blogged — and certainly this is the perfect time to do it.
I believe most of us cannot wait for our day to come. After all, we get to celebrate our birthday only once every year. How we celebrate it depends on our capacity (financially) and of course, what is deemed most important to us. It can be having a party with the people we love, family and friends that are always there for us, or it can be a simple going-away to a nice place where the birthday celebrant can relax and enjoy a peaceful day.
I, for one, wished for the latter. I would give anything to be stress-free, to be worry-free, and be at peace.
The past 7 months have been stressful, challenging, and discouraging in so many ways. Many times, I would find myself questioning God why He allowed such hardships into my life and my prayers left unanswered. I questioned, I sulked, I cried, I was thrown into a pit of despair, and I cried some more — yet, I still found myself in this tough situation. Today, more than anything, I prayed for a peaceful day. I have to be honest … I asked for solutions to my problems. But again, I was denied of what I have prayed for.
Why do I call it D-day?
“Isn’t it birthday starts with letter B — so it should be B-day not D-day.” My boss said.
Well, Charlene the cynical answered “D-day because it is a down-day.” Oh boy … my boss “resented” my reply and I felt a tiny bit ashamed. Well, okay — I felt bad that I had to call it a “down day”. After all, I am fully aware of God’s blessings in my life DESPITE all that I have been through the past year and still going through at this moment.
I promised myself that this blog will be a positive and uplifting one. Although I did spend more than half of the day running around in circles and in tears, I have to snap out of my stupidity because there ARE so many reasons why I should be thankful. Shame on me for focusing my eyes on my trials and not looking beyond what God has given me.
Here are the reasons why I am thankful:
Today, I am 42 years old. Although I have gained a lot of weight the past 7 months due to not playing tennis regularly, I know I can still do something about my weight starting today (well, tomorrow actually). The years have been kind to me despite the aging lines and all. I am once again reminded to take care of my health especially my gall bladder problem. Most of all, the people who love me — love me for me and not my weight, nor my age.
I am thankful and will always be thankful for my bosses Kreg and Erik. They have been very kind, supportive and encouraging the past months I was out-of-balance due to the house construction. Most of all, they have been very patient with me — always around to teach me and allow me to hone my skills to be better. For the job that they have given — I am reminded once more to do the best I can to repay all the kindness and trust they have showed me and my family.
I am thankful for the Lord has given me the chance to write an eBook (hopefully, the first of the many more to come) that can help motivate women to achieve greatness.
I am thankful because we have finally moved to our new house. We have been praying for our own house the past ten years and certainly God moves in mysterious ways! Other times, I would question His wisdom — why now when we are not yet financially able? Then again, it is not my place to question His will. I know despite all the trials we are facing right now, He will show me His wonderful purpose and timing. I just have to continue trusting Him.
One of the reasons why I love my work especially being an admin for the FB pages is the fact that I get to meet people who live far away, but can give encouragement and support whenever I feel down and out. Thanks to Becky, Annie, Kapil, and everyone else. God has been so good — He knows that this job is to lead people to Christ, but most of all — I get to feel blessed and be reminded of His great love for me.
I am thankful for my family. My parents, brothers and sisters, my daughters who I love and miss with all my heart, my beautiful granddaughter Holly and the coming baby brother, my son-in-law, and most of all my son Josh and my best friend and husband Roy. I don’t know what my life would be without you all. I will always be thankful that you love me for ME — not the perfect me because I am not, but for all my imperfections. True love sees what is inside the heart. It is not what you see from the outside that matters. It is not what a certain act may seem on the surface, but true love values the thought, the reason, and the value behind such act. I am thankful that God has given me you — the reason of my continuing existence in this world. Most of all, I am thankful because YOU have made my life beautiful and worth living.
This is not what I expected and hoped the day would turn out to be. However, I choose to be thankful. I choose to feel and be reminded of God’s continuous blessings in my life. I choose to trust in God that He is in control of my life. Finally, I am grateful and humbled for the love of God for me.
Happy B-day Charlene!
Achieving perfectionism in life will just be a disappointment to all. There is no perfect person and no perfect life. Sometimes we look at other people who seem to have the best in everything and we wonder how come we can’t be like them? Why do we have to sweat and grind just to put food in our mouth, go through pain just to experience love and acceptance and starve ourselves just so we could shed a bit of those fats in our body? Is loving our life based on society’s definition of success–if we have riches, fame, high-powered jobs, perfect family, a wonderful house and a beautiful body? Reality would tell us loving our life is not based on all these. In fact, these are just icing to the cake. What matters in each person is the spirit within.
To love our life means to love ourselves.
No one is more important, worthy and unique but our own self. It doesn’t mean that if there are others who are richer, more famous or more attractive make them more valuable than you. Remember that there is goodness and love in each person that make them special. Living in this world did not promise a bed of roses. In fact, so many times we would be pushed to the limit to the point of giving up but if we love ourselves and learn to stand every time we fall, these downfalls are just reminders that we can make our lives better. Love our body by taking care of it. Although we cannot achieve a perfect size body, we can always take care of it by putting in what is good and healthy.
To love our life we have to be always thankful for every little blessings we received.
One of the most effective way to be thankful is to keep a journal of every little details that we are blessed with. I love the beauty of each sunset–a reminder of how God has been with me all through the day that has passed; the gentle breeze after every rain that takes away the tiredness of my body; I love how my 6 year son would hug and kiss me when he comes home from school; I love my cellphone when it beeps and I get to receive a message from any of my daughters who live far from me most of all, I love it when I know I have worked hard and the effort I put in is never wasted.
To love our life we should always learn to forgive.
Okay, so maybe we did screw up and made stupid mistakes but this is a process that we all have to go through to be better persons. Mistakes are opportunities for growth. We cannot go through life without making mistakes. It is important to forgive ourselves, avoid the same mistakes and learn from it. Forgiving also means forgiving the people who caused us pain. It is so hard to go through life saddled with so much anger and hatred. Remember, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi. It takes a strong person to learn to forgive.
To love our life we need to take actions and do our best.
We cannot just simply say “I hate my life because I don’t have a job”. Loving our life means doing our best to achieve our dreams and if we fall short, at least we know deep down we tried. Every one of us are blessed with talents and abilities, it is up to us to define and use it to the betterment of our lives.
In conclusion, loving our life means looking into ourselves and what we have been through; appreciating the person that has come out courageous and better. Being alive is one reason to love our life!