I Am Because of My Mom

“When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.” -Nancy Friday

I am who I am because of my mom.  She may not be a mom who likes to hug and kiss, nor a mother who comforts her children when they hurt but in her own ways, she has never failed in showing us how much she loves her children.

Today is Mother’s Day and it is fitting that this post is written especially for the woman who taught me so much on how to be a daughter, a wife and a mother. These are the most important “gifts” my mother has given me all my life:

Faith in God

My mother was the only Christian in our family.  Every Sunday, she never fails to go to church. It is quite difficult on her part since my dad was a firm believer of Buddhism and my siblings that time were Catholics because we all went to a Catholic school.  Despite it all, she was never discouraged.  In one of my posts at 
http://www.helium.com/items/1929854-how-should-we-lead-our-children-to-god
, I talked about how my mother never gave up in leading me to become a Christian.  During the roller coaster ride of my life, she would always remind me to pray.  I know that during the worst times of my life, it was she who has been praying for me so much.

Singing

The first (and the only one) song my mother taught me when I was a child was “The Lord’s Prayer“.  My father used to go to Manila and I get to sleep with my mom at night.  With the lights out and the moon casting shadows in the night, my mom would sing this prayer to me.  Her voice was the sweetest sound engulfing me before sleep finally came.  Eventually, I grew up with a gift to sing.  These days when I am troubled or tired from work, singing is my form of relaxation.

Selflessness

My mother never gave up on me.  There is a Filipino saying that goes like this “Matitiis ng anak ang Ina, pero ang Ina hindi kayang tiisin ang anak.”  It simply means that children can go on with their lives staying away from their mothers not communicating and seeing them but a mother cannot do this.  They would do everything just to show how much they care and love their children–even if their child is not worth it.

Despite all the pain and sleepless nights I have caused my mom, she has always been there loving me.  Yes, she can really nag at times but I know deep down, this is because of her great love for me.  Many times, I know I don’t deserve my mother’s love but her love and care has been selfless all my life.

Support

I believe that my mother is my number one support.  The first time I talked to her about giving up my cooking business and venture out into writing, she was quick to tell me that I should pursue it because I am a good writer.  All my life, this is the highest praise I have received from my mom.  Even back when I used to sing in church and win local singing contests, my mother was not the type of person who gushes you with praise.  Yet, I know every achievement of  my life made her proud.

Good Example Being a Daughter

She used to tell me “how you treat your mother is also the way your children will treat you”….I used to stay away from my mom because of the many times she would nag me in doing something I don’t usually like. When life became difficult, I stayed away because of fear from hearing the words “I told you so…” Eventually, I just opted to stay away.  I realized now that I was wrong to hurt my mother this way.  Then I saw how my mother treats her mom, my grandmother. My grandmother is now 92 years old and living with my uncle.  Mama would pick her up once a week and bring her out to lunch or dinner. Every time we have party at home, my grandmother is almost always present with mom serving her food and keeping her comfortable.  I want my children to love and treat me the way my mother is with her mom.  These days, I try my best to keep in touch with my mom regularly.  Although I still fall short because of my own struggles in life and the need to work all the time, I hope that I can show her how much she means to me.

I am the kind of mother I am to my children because of the lessons I learned from my mother.  I love my children unselfishly; willing to let go of everything and anything just to be there for them.  I always make it to a point that my children know how much I support them in all their endeavors and if they need a hug, a kiss, an encouragement,a friend, a home…..they know they have a mother to turn to.

There is no “perfect” mother.  Mothers are only human and there would be times they fall short of the expectations children set.  However, a mother’s love can be considered a glimpse of how much God loves us.

Mama, I love you.  No words can ever express how thankful I am that you are my mother. God bless you always and Happy Mother’s Day!

Being Thankful at EASTER

I opened my eyes from a deep slumber.  A little disoriented from the aftermath of a blurred dream, I noticed the sun shining and the house is filled with silence. Josh is beside me sleeping ever so peacefully. I got up as I remember today is Easter morning.  Too bad, we were too tired to wake up early to join the Easter morning service that happens every year at the park.  It would have been a nice experience for Josh.  However, being a special day today I decide to blog about what Easter means to me personally.

More than 25 years ago, every Easter Sunday my mother never failed to wake me up at 4am and we would go to this big stadium in our hometown wherein it was filled with so many people alternately singing and praying.  There would be individuals coming up to do a short testimony on how God has changed their lives. The atmosphere was joyful while everyone eagerly waited for the sun to rise signifying the risen Christ.  Every year, I would come home reminded of how blessed I am that God has chosen me to be a part of HIM.  Being a serving Christian at an early age did not spare me from all the pain in life.  Despite the fact that I used to live and breathe with church works that include being the soloist in the choir, Sunday School teacher, Discipleship leader of the youth and helper in the church service every Sunday, I still made some really seriously bad choices.  I strayed away from what God wants me to do.  I hurt a LOT of people and I suffered financially and emotionally.

Yet, more than ever I am thankful because every Easter Sunday reminds me that even if my life is far different from what it was 25 years back, only God has never changed in HIS love for me.  He has been a loving, faithful, graceful and very understanding Father to me. I may be far from the teen who used to serve God but more than ever I am totally dependent on Him.  I think the essence of my life is not on how I can be of service to Him with my talents but it is in my being broken, ugly and shattered that HIS strength and beauty can be reflected in me.

I have so much to thank the Lord for.  He has never tired of being there to sustain me in all the “hell” I have been through.  He keeps encouraging me to “take up my cross” and follow Him.  Yes, we all know the significance of this day to all Christians.  The resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead gave us the VICTORY over Satan and sin.  It simply means that the one we believe in is alive and in control of our lives.  For me, it is this and much more!

To all of you out there…..HAPPY EASTER!  JESUS is ALIVE!!!