I bet most of you can’t wait for weekend to roll in especially if the week has been tough for you. While others would think of going out and have fun, I spent the weekend doing… nothing!
“I’m not handsome.”
Joshua, my 11 year old son, blurted out this morning while he was busy fixing his hair. I mean, for a guy his age — is there really anything you can do with your (bob cut) hair to change how you look? But my son started taking more time and conscious effort to look “great” before going to school — a sure sign he is no longer a baby.
Yet, I was more concerned with his words this morning than the way he kept combing his hair — side to side.
“Why’d you say that?” I asked.
Apparently, a friend in school said he is not handsome; thus Josh thought so too.
It’s been 2 years since I last blogged.
Writing has always been a part of who I am. It has been my outlet — a way of expressing my thoughts and emotions without fear of being criticized or judged. Yet, I’ve stopped writing.
Lack of inspiration (especially with all that I’ve been going through the past years), lack of time to really sit down and talk about whatever is on my mind, lack of self confidence are just some of the excuses that stopped me. Eventually, I just allowed myself to believe I don’t have it in me to be a writer anymore. (Drum roll) Yep, here is where all the negative emotions come rushing in… self doubts and fear of saying the wrong things.
I was so caught up with so many things — work, money problems, family issues, and then more problems to face — I was in a roller coaster ride most of the time.
The past months has allowed me to evolve from being a writer to a project manager/virtual assistant. As a matter of fact, I have not taken a writing job since January this year. It is certainly not because I do not love writing anymore, but it was more because the demand in the job market has geared towards other types of job. To find a writing job on the niches I love is really agonizing. Other than this, writers from all over the world (even some from the US) are slashing down their fees just to be competitive. For this reason, I simply stopped writing.
I am so excited!
Last Sunday while at the mall, we saw this beautiful mini car being displayed. I gently touched the smooth surface and marvel at its beauty and simplicity. I told myself, “I want this car.” After spending several minutes talking to the lady about the car’s features and payment plan, I went away feeling excited. Clutching to myself is a colored brochure the sales lady gave me.
When I came home, I immediately gathered some of Josh’s art materials, printed out some images and got down on my knees — bent on making my own vision board.