When does healing comes?
As my son fell and blood from his fresh wound oozes out, my heart reach out to him as he cried with all his might. At his age, his threshold of pain is not much. A little bump, a little graze, a little bruise–he cries out. After a day or two (depending on how serious his wound is), my son is back to being his hyperactive self–running around and not caring if he will fall again. Obviously, he feels better now that his wound is healing.
It makes me think of my own pain. Yes, after giving birth to 5 kids, my threshold of pain is high but when it comes to emotional pain–just like my son I cry out with all my might. Despite efforts of threading carefully in life now that I am older (and wiser?), I still fall and hit hard rock. Worse, there would be times I find myself broken in pieces. Being a melancholic in nature, it is inevitable that I would resolve to being negative in almost everything. Even with all the self-help books and articles I surround myself looking for answers, I still feel I am in a limbo of pain. It makes me wonder when does emotional healing take place? Is it a choice one has to make? Or does it comes naturally in time?
1. Acknowledgement of the Emotional wound. There are people who live life denying that they are in pain. Thinking that if they acknowledge that they are wounded it would make them weak. In fact, there are others whose wound cuts so deep that their mind has opted to block out certain traumatic events in their lives. Thus, they are in need of professional counselors to help them cope. Healing will never take place once there is denial. Acknowledging the need for one to heal is the first step.
2. Cleansing of emotional wound. After falling, I had to apply first aid immediately to my son’s wound by cleansing it thoroughly to prevent infections. The same is true to emotional wound. If left open, it is the breeding ground of anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, depression and anxiety. Effects of this will all the more destroy the person in you. For cleansing to happen, forgiveness is the key. Yet, to forgive a person who terribly wronged us is not that easy. It is not just saying, “Okay, I have forgiven you” everything will then be fine. Forgiveness is a difficult task to take on without the Supreme guidance and grace. We need to ask God to aid us in forgiving ourselves and the person who caused us immense pain. We then need to lift that experience/pain to God and ask Him to restore our soul. Several weeks ago while I was in church, I prayed for forgiveness towards the person who caused me pain. Thinking I have done my part, I was caught unaware when negative emotions like pain and insecurities kept creeping back. There would be good days when I can block them out of my mind but there would be days when the devil will play with my emotions that would cause me to be transported back into feeling hatred and bitterness towards this person. I realized, it doesn’t stop in just forgiving. If there is no cleansing of the wound, the hurt will always haunt you and the devil will play havoc on your weakness.
3. Receive healing from God. Just like physical wound, the doctor will mend it by stitching and applying appropriate medicine to the wound. It goes the same with us. Forgiveness opens the door to freedom of pain but forgiveness is not healing in itself. However, when God mends the wound, He also heals the wound. Receiving healing means understanding that even Jesus suffered all kinds of emotional hurts; He became a hurt substitute and was sent to heal our broken heart. We are not alone in this difficult time. With faith in God, we can lift up everything to Him and be assured that He understands. When God heals the wound, we can recall what happened without being flooded with pain.
4. Strengthening of mind and soul in God. Most of the time while going through so much trauma in life, we question God’s purpose. We cannot see the light in the tunnel. But with hope and faith, we can crawl our way out into the light as long as we believe everything happens for a purpose. Believe that God’s way is better than ours. He allows events to happen for a reason. God works for the good of all those who believes in Him. The more we need to strengthen our faith and soul in Him. This way, evil has no room to come into our thoughts and emotions.
Yes, it is our choice to allow healing to take place. We don’t just wait for time to do the trick but there is a need for God’s grace and mercy for it to happen.