The year 2010 has not been so kind to me. Yet more than ever, I am very thankful for all the ups and downs I’ve had. Not because I am a sucker for pain and tears but because I know in my heart I am a better person. Life can treat us so bad at a time we least expect. This year was no different. However, I don’t want this post to be negative but a curtain call for all the pain I had to go through. Most people who knew me would tell me I am a tough cookie, composed of a steely determination not to let life bring me down. If only they knew and saw how broken I was…I was simply a mess. Only God knows what gory state I had to go through so I could emerge into a person resolved with a new look at life.
God has been so very good to me more than ever. On times I have never felt so alone, He was constantly at my side supplying me with the strength and courage to go on. During the times I was emotionally, spiritually and financially down…He gently lifted me up. I knew He will not take a magic wand and ward off all the pain and suffering…but His love slowly healed me. He allowed me to go through it all so I could be a comfort to others. I could gain wisdom and compassion for others who suffer worst. Most of all, I am once again humbled to be thankful of the many blessings He has provided me in the form of my family and friends.
I have learned important lessons in life this year. More than ever, my faith was tested and I am just blessed to come out victorious. Somehow while in the tunnel of darkness and I had nothing to hope and hold on to, God was there a beacon of light. He is indeed more than my Father, my provider, my strength, my hope….He is my best friend. He understands all the pain, the insecurities, the doubts and the frustrations I had. Every time I lashed out in pain, He never got mad at me. He just took me in His loving arms and let me cry until all tears were spent. Even when I had nothing, He assured me I have everything…as long as I have Him. How great is God’s love for me!
Finally, the end is near. Other times I would say good riddance year 2010. But today I just look back and focus on how great God has been to me. I just know deep down, He has so many wonderful plans for me this coming year as long as I believe it here in my heart. Just like the prayer for the past years of my life… “I look forward with joyful anticipation to what You have planned for me. Thank You for becoming Lord of me life.”