Six months have passed since that awful night. Disbelief, shock and excruciating pain have constantly gripped my heart after discovering the ugly truth. Since then, the struggle to overcome it has been quite a challenge. It is human nature that the effects of the problem would cause a person to be cynical, afraid and suspicious. Every emotion that grips the heart is like a yoyo; up and down, moving one step forward during good days, three steps backward during bad days.
The first few months were definitely hellish. You desperately tried to hold on to the thin thread of trust while at the back of your mind you fear the same betrayal happening anytime soon. Many times you wonder how are you going to move on from all the ugliness and fear when every waking moment of the day you are reminded of the pain? Yes, you prayed for forgiveness but it seems forgiving is so overwhelming hard. How then do you move on after the pain?
Yes, time can be such a killjoy when one is having fun. However, time is essential for healing when you are going through tremendous change in your heart and soul. Just like any physical injury, time is the greatest healer as each person’s body has the ability to heal itself. Healing is possible not only through the medicine you applied but from the nutrients you get from the food that you eat. This same principle works with the pain you are going through. Other than time, the people that surrounds you with love and support are the nutrients your raw emotions need.
Some people would say forgiveness is easier said than done. This may be true as one struggle to let go of the pain he feels. Forgiving the person that has wronged you is not a God-given natural choice. But if you do believe in God, you choose to forgive despite the pain and the difficulty. I always tell myself the moment I struggle with the art of forgiving is how Jesus forgave the world even though he went through it severely castigated. In fact, it is only through prayer and grace that forgiveness is even possible. You simply cannot forgive people on your own strength.
There are so many choices when you find yourself in a crossroad; to forgive or not to forgive, move forward or stay put. Forgiving and letting go is a choice you have to make. No one will make this decision but you alone. Yes, it is very, very difficult and only God knows how much pain you are going through. Nevertheless, if you desire to move on from all the ugliness, then there is no other route but go upward, at the same time letting go of the heavy feelings that is burdening and making your steps hard.
There are good days and there are bad days too. Moving on after the pain is never easy and you need God’s guidance and strength to be able to let go. You are blessed if you have family and friends at your side to lend a hand to listen and support–others don’t have this. For this reason, it is good to reach out to other people who are also in the same shoes with you–hurting. This way, you are not only conveying to them that you care and understand but through it your own pain takes second place.
Are you struggling right now? Is your spouse/loved one cheating on you? You may have lost someone important or a person you love has recently passed away. Whatever it is, always remember that healing and moving on only happens if you truly desire it.