I can feel my heart beating fast.
Wiping the sweat off my eyes, I tried my best to focus. Blocking out the many stuff troubling me lately, I had to concentrate hard on how to outwit the person in front of me.
It’s been more than a year since I last came to this place – the place I have loved almost half of my life. It’s the place where I laugh the most. It’s the place I have been challenged to be the best that I can be. It’s the place where I find comfort, laughter and moments of letting go especially when challenged and going through a tough situation in my life.
I love this place.
I love this game.
I finally realized why my dad loved playing tennis almost all his life. Although at the age of 82, he has slowed down so much because of the pain he is enduring, I know he still wants to play tennis if only he can. I am also aware that the reason for his depression at this time is the fact that he cannot play as much as he wants to. Yes, the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.
The past year has been very challenging and overwhelming for me. After moving to the new house and having to face the tremendous debts we have incurred, the responsibility of bringing home the dough rested on my shoulders. My husband had no choice, but to take out several loans from his salary for us to be able to finish the house construction. It was indeed a challenging year.
I made sacrifices and one of them was giving up playing tennis. I had to work extra hours every day and if I do get some time off, I would want to just laze around and do nothing. The effect of this hiatus has been terrible for me. I have gained so much weight. It has affected my self-esteem with demeaning thoughts that I am looking fat and undesirable because of no exercise. What’s worse is the fact that the more I stayed away, the more I find it hard to come back. It has to take some serious and terrible incident in my life for me to have no choice but to drag myself back in this place once more.
I can feel my excitement growing. As the ball comes whizzing in front of me, I gripped my racket tightly with all my attention focused on the green ball. Whacking it hard with my racket complete with the signature follow-through of my forehand, I sent the ball back to the opponent’s side. The exchange went on and on, until I felt myself almost giving up due to sheer exhaustion.
My partner and I went on to win the game.
I basked in the feeling of exhilaration and excitement.
I can feel the spirit of the game beckoning and making me realize what I have missed out the past year.
I have never been happier.
As I near the D-day where I will be turning another year older, I promised myself that whatever happens, I should always come back to this place I call my playground.
I am truly glad I am back.