It’s another year, and not surprisingly, so many are talking/blogging about resolutions and changes they want to happen in their lives.
I am no different.
I also have goals I want to achieve this year. However, I prefer to talk about blessings and inspirations — How I was able to survive the past year, how the Lord has given, but how he He has also taken away — a lot. I am no one special in other people’s eyes. But, I can truly say, I am very special in God’s eyes. I believe the faith and hope in my heart is not my own doing — it is God’s Spirit working and weaving the intricacies of life’s challenges for His glory.
The year 2013 started with me looking for freelance jobs. I was blessed because I was able to find a job with a previous client. The first few months were wonderful. Although the job was not easy because it was demanding, I loved working for her due to the fact that I was able to tap into my deepest desire — to write about life, self-development and self-help niches. I was able to reach out to other people, and empathize with what they were going through. Despite this, however, I was too focused on finding solutions to my problems the easy way.
I became too impatient. I made tons of mistakes and wrong decisions. Eventually, the Lord took away my primary job — as well as, the other jobs on the side. When July came rolling in, I found myself lost with no income. The path ahead of me was dark and winding. In fact, my mentor/friend told me to think out of the box when job hunting. I must not just rely on what I used to do before — but, go out of my way to reach out to people.
And I did.
For the next 3 months, I took on small jobs. I sent in applications after applications to people I don’t know. There was no pride left in me, but I contacted anyone and everyone who is willing to hire me. Money was so nil that we found ourselves buried (all the more) in debts. I would be lying if I said, I was not discouraged. In fact, I would sometimes cry myself to sleep imploring to God to give me a job, that any of those job applications would come back to me with a “yes” instead of the usual “not” or “not now.”
A Flicker of Hope
Have you ever experienced that feeling when things are tough, all you want to do is crawl in a corner and hide? The more discouraged you are, the lesser strength and resolve you have in facing challenges. So I found myself getting fatter and bigger. I was drowning emotionally and mentally. Yet, God has planted the seed of faith and hope in my heart. For the hundredth time the thought of giving up and turning away from Him came crossing my mind, the more my discouraged heart and soul crushed the thought.
I just knew that God is in control.
Yes, I was able to land a job came October. Although it was not much, yet it helped pay some bills and put food on the table. By November, things were looking up so well that I started planning and dreaming of being debt free by the end of 2014. The feeling of hope was so strong that I knew God has answered my prayers.
Reading my blog, you would think — “all’s well that ends well. Charlene was able to overcome her trials.”
I wish I could say the same.
The year 2014 came with more trials. The job I took on last October did an overhaul of their operations. Thus lessening my work tasks, work time and earnings. I lost another job too. Although I am not really back to square one, I prefer to think that I am still blessed this year. I am job hunting again these days.
What’s the difference?
Someone visited my blog several weeks ago, and left a comment that I was an inspiration to her. It made me realize that whatever I am going through is not just about me. There are so many others going through the same or even much worse. Although this blog site is more of my way of “pouring out” what is in my heart, my ultimate goal is to inspire others.
So what’s the difference between year 2013 and 2014? I prefer to think that although I am still looking for that job that will pull me out from my financial difficulties, God has given me a more serious and special task — and that is, to inspire others. I know the flicker of hope that held me through year 2013 is and will always be around, I just want anyone who came to visit and read this blog to know that God is in control. He can change your life — if you only allow HIM. This flicker of hope in my heart can also be yours.
I know I can reach my goal this year. God has always been around my life… I just have to hold on.
Are you going through the same trials? What goals do you have this year that you want to achieve? I would love to hear from you. Let us inspire one another!