It’s been 2 years since I last blogged.
Writing has always been a part of who I am. It has been my outlet — a way of expressing my thoughts and emotions without fear of being criticized or judged. Yet, I’ve stopped writing.
Lack of inspiration (especially with all that I’ve been going through the past years), lack of time to really sit down and talk about whatever is on my mind, lack of self confidence are just some of the excuses that stopped me. Eventually, I just allowed myself to believe I don’t have it in me to be a writer anymore. (Drum roll) Yep, here is where all the negative emotions come rushing in… self doubts and fear of saying the wrong things.
I was so caught up with so many things — work, money problems, family issues, and then more problems to face — I was in a roller coaster ride most of the time.
Because of this, I forgot to take care of myself, appreciate myself, and to love myself. I got so consumed with anger and frustration because people closest to me seem to always think the worst of me. It’s like I want to scream at the top of my lungs and tell them: “HEY! I’M NOT BAD. ACCEPT ME!”
But I can’t.
And I end up hating myself… for not being rich, for being fat and for not being able to enjoy life like others do.
“A new beginning..”
Admittedly, I’m undergoing bouts of depression lately but I also believe its an effective way for me to start bouncing back and face life anew. Year 2015 has been, in some ways, good to me (sort of) but I knew at the back of my mind, it’s time for me to change IF I WANT MY LIFE TO MOVE FORWARD.
Starting anew is so promising. I think I’ve made some head start the past 2 weeks and if I just keep it up — making sure to focus more on the positive things and taking the extra step to be kinder to myself, things will definitely be better for me.
Loving myself is the key.
To love myself means accepting who I am — fats, wrinkles and all imperfections
To love myself means stop being insecure and focus on my strengths
To love myself means loving my weakness because God loves me despite it all
To love myself means not needing anyone’s approval
Most of all, to love myself means being proud of WHO I AM.